So You Think I Should Start A Bakery?

Yesterday, Krissy and I traveled to New York to celebrate Christmas with my mom at my brother Chris' apartment. Unsure about who, exactly, we should bring gifts for, we opted for the always appropriate goodies. I didn't want to show up empty-handed if my brothers had gifts for me. Besides, it might lessen the burden upon us in the week to come.

Last year, Krissy and I decided that since we really had no idea what to get people, and not really having time to coordinate gift buying, we baked. We enjoy baking, frankly. We have a system, usually, in which I mix the batters and she deals with the oven. Generally, I don't really like making things like cookies because they are too repetitive a process; I'm not a machine or a robot-- they are built for repetition. Needless to say, from time to time, I bake various goodies because others enjoy it (as do I).

For some reason, people will at this point suggest I open a bakery. I suppose that this idea is due to the fact that I've never found something I liked doing, and unemployment being what it is, any idea is better than no idea. I appreciate that people enjoy what I make enough to suggest opening a bakery. Unfortunately, there are some problems with the idea of opening a bakery.

First, I don't know what I'm doing. I don't even have proper pots much less mixers or other tools. I know that egg whites are emulsifiers (at least I think that's right?) but I don't necessarily know what that means. I can't create a recipe. To me, reading a recipe doesn't make me a cook or baker. It's like suggesting someone be an architect because they can follow the instructions to build a desk.

I don't know flavors, and how they interact and meld with each other. I haven't actually baked that much. I think that to start a bakery, I'll have had to make at least 1,000 cookies; I don't think I'm anywhere near that. Okay, maybe I am, but to be fair, I think the required number ought to be more like 10,000. I'm pretty exhausted from baking after a couple days of baking; I cannot fathom spending sixty-plus hours a week doing it. Operating a bakery is expensive. Ovens, employees, mixers, accessories, cases, tables, and everything else needed is not only overwhelming, but would cost more money than I have ever seen.

But, knowing people enjoyed the end product would be worth it.

So if I did own a bakery, this is what I would want:

First of all, to call it a bakery would be a misnomer; I think we'd serve a few different foods. Of course, there would be plenty of sweets and baked goods. I'd also want to sell fresh bread made daily. I'd like to serve lunch in the form of pizzas, burgers, and a few other classic Dennis foods. Oh, and ice cream. I'd make ice cream year round.

I'd like to have the seats be old school desks. I'd like to have booths and tables too, since I understand we can't all fit into school desks anymore (especially if we're eating sweets). I'd like to have a jukebox, too, or maybe just a record player, I'm not sure. Regardless, I love music, and there would definitely be some sweet tunes playing in my shoppe.

As for pricing, that's easy; pay what you want. I don't think food needs to be exorbitantly expensive. And I understand that some people can't afford to go out and eat sometimes. Whereas, maybe other people can and can pay more. I don't know how successful my plan would be, and clearly I'd need to have a lot of money to do it. But that is how I would run my bakery. Pay what you can or want. You don't get paid until Friday? That's fine, have a slice of pizza and a few cookies, maybe even a scoop of ice cream. Come back on Friday and pay what you want, or not; that's fine.

So if you think I should start a bakery, just know that it's only under those circumstances.