Would You Like Some Cheez Whiz With That Whine?

There's a storm a brewing, and the mommy/food bloggers are not happy. You see, this is what happens when you replace a longstanding professional trade or career with amateurs.

I am not a journalist. I could never hope to be one on my own. I don't have access to Lexis Nexis, nor do I have information gathering services like that of NBC. I just like the stuff. I follow it where I can and do my due diligence to verify what I read.

In this same regard, food bloggers are not professionals (in the traditional sense). You can learn to cook on your own; almost everyone learns this way. But curating a food blog does not a professional make. I'm the worst person to critique food since I can't actually, you know, eat most of it.

If you truly wanted to be a critic of anything seriously, you really have to prepare. Can I critique photographs? Sure. But my reading Strobist hardly makes me an expert. Seeing movies doesn't make me an expert capable of critiquing them either. And making dinner every night and posting about it on my blog doesn't make me a foodie or an expert on foods.

Does it matter what non experts think? Of course! That's why Adam Sandler cranks out movies that critics hate. Because the rest of america loves them. But Punch Drunk Love, Spanglish, and Reign Over Me (the last one in particular) are great movies that critics loved. And they all failed at the box office.

Recently, some food bloggers got an invitation to a dinner hosted by the one and only George Duran. You know, that guy who hosts Ultimate Cake Off. The one you want to kick only slightly less than the tool that hosts Cupcake Wars.

Photo from Food Network Canada

Yeah, that guy. Food is serious business.

Apparently, some bloggers are upset because they feel like they were lied to and duped into eating free food they would not have otherwise eaten. I don't want to sound like a douche, so here's what went down (objectively).

An invitation was sent to a select few bloggers; it looked like this:

The bloggers were told that this restaurant was essentially a pop up shop of restaurants and would be open for only five days. The bloggers were allowed a guest/date, and were allowed to have a giveaway on their blogs for dinner at Sotto Terra.

I'm not familiar with how this sort of thing works, but I'm something of a skeptic. And I research pretty much everything. I don't think I am normal like this, but I'd think anyone with a large audience would at least research places they were going to blog about.

Is it normal for a restaurant to open for only five days? Restaurant equipment is exorbitant. I'd think that five days would make very little sense for a restaurant. A pop up fashion or letterpress shop? Absolutely! The amount of overhead is much lower for those businesses. Not to mention food permits, etc.

I didn't even know George Duran was a chef, so I Googled him. Turns out, he is. Go figure. He went to NYU for Communications, worked as a producer, so on and so forth. Then, he went to France to learn how to cook. To me, this is important, we'll see why later.

Next, I'd Google Ketchum. This person I'm supposed to reply to works there (or at least has an e-mail address there). Oh, they are a marketing and PR firm. That's odd, but hey, maybe that's normal. George Duran isn't going to give you his personal e-mail. For all we know, Christine is his assistant. Or his agent or something.

The invitation states that they will be dining at an Italian eatery, learn about food trends from Phil, talk to each other, and sample George's Sangria while eating a four-course meal hosted by George Duran and Phil Lempert.

A few points. This is an Italian restaurant. George Duran studied French cuisine. His specialties are French, Armenian, and South American. I'm sure he can make a decent enough Lasagna, but I would be more excited about being served Italian food by someone who's known for cooking Italian food. In the celebrity chef scene, Mario Batali immediately comes to mind. Needless to say, this is yet another red flag.

But wait, the invitation refers to George and Phil merely as hosts. I don't think it implies that they will be cooking. In fact, the only time it mentions them in relation to food is when it says they'll be served Chef Duran's Sangria. You know, something South American.

So let's read what some of the bloggers had to say.

Over at Mom Confessionals, there's this:

Our entire meal was a SHAM! We were unwilling participants in a bait-and-switch for Marie Callender’s new frozen three cheese lasagna and there were cameras watching our reactions. I’ve got a sense of humor so I was okay with it and I had been enjoying myself up until that point, but I could tell that the rest of the participants were not. Everyone feigned weak shock and faked approval of the frozen meal.

I feel like "bait-and-switch" gets thrown around a lot. This is one of those times. This was not a bait and switch. They promised a four course meal hosted by George Duran and delivered. Also, bait-and-switch is kind of excessive considering that the food was free. It's not like Best Buy having an ad for a free monitor, then not having it and convincing you to buy something else.

All in all, this blogger seemed a bit annoyed, but mostly because her guests were duped.

Next up is the very poorly named blog of Chubby Chinese Girl (cuz she's, you know, kinda skinny).

First, I'd like to commend her for being the only one who took decent photos. The crop of the invitation came from one of her photos, in fact.

Then the focus shifted to healthy eating, fresh and local, seasonal, reading our labels, so on and so forth. Sort of like a Food Inc. panel if you will. I pointed out that the reason I ate organic, fresh and good food was because my calories are very precious to me, so I want to use them wisely.

(emphasis hers)

Okay I have some problems with this. Lasagna and Razzleberry pie don't exactly conjure up words like healthy or calorie conscious to me. I honestly can't take something like Razzleberry pie seriously. It sounds like something out of Willy Wonka or (yes) Marie Calender.

The reading labels thing throws me off, though. Eating fresh, local, and seasonal [ingredients] doesn't really involve labels. I'd hope a serious chef (or food blogger) would use as little prepared foods, except maybe ones they'd made themselves.

I'm NOT their target consumer and they were totally off by thinking I would buy or promote their highly processed frozen foods after tricking me to taste it. I'm not saying I ONLY eat/write about healthy and organic foods, but what unhealthy stuff I choose to eat/write, at least I was aware of it and it was my decision to do so.

But this is hardly new. Companies have been doing this for decades--getting people to try something they'd say they dislike (Think Coke and Pepsi).

I don't think they thought that the bloggers would do nothing but praise them either. I think they wanted to give them food they'd otherwise shun because it's processed and see what they think. If they all hated it, they'd know to change the recipe or whatever. I don't think they were thinking, "Let's woo some food bloggers with a big name like George Duran, some sangria, and free lasagna. This will get us tons of free positive publicity. Nothing could possibly go wrong." No, when giving people food, you always run the risk of a negative review. Food critics always get free food, and negative reviews abound. If a food blogger thought, "I won't say anything bad, I'll be polite" then they ought to not be reviewing food. Personally, if they found it so disgusting at Sotto Terra, they should have spoken up.

If I was a foodie and expecting a home made meal from a big name chef and it was only so-so, I'd certainly at least say something to the people around me. I wouldn't call the chef out on it because I'm just not that extroverted. But hey, if I had thousands of readers who took my opinions to heart, maybe that'd be different. Who knows. But I'm sure there was at least one loud mouth (and I don't mean that in a disparaging way) in the group. Why didn't anyone say "This Lasagna tastes like crap, who the hell taught you to cook?"

But Chubby Chinese Girl was again mostly upset at having eaten processed food. She seemed more upset than the first blogger, but seemed to take it mostly in stride.

The people over at Food Mayhem, on the other hand, were nonplussed.

To Mr. George Duran:
On behalf of the the culinary world, we hereby revoke your dodin bouffant; apron; and most of all, your right to call yourself a ‘chef’. You sir are an embarrassment to those in the culinary industry working hard to maintain and enhance a culture of food as one of the best parts of living.

hyperbole, hyperbole, hyperbole. This is the equivalent of people calling each other tea baggers, libertards, or any other sensationalist garbage. This hardly disqualifies chef Duran as being a chef. He's just doing his job as a spokesman for Con Agra Foods. Anyone who has watched the Food Network (and they all do) would see Food Network chefs promoting products during the commercial break.

Normally, I'd run down a response to an entire blog post like this, but it's so filled with sensationalist, angry bitterness that I'm not even going to bother. (some examples, just so I don't look like a sourpuss):

Let’s consider a more personal hypothetical: George, how would you feel if invited to my home, fed chicken cordon bleu, and then afterwards informed that we had secretly stuffed the cavity with entrails of rats found in the street, cleansed using various chemicals from the utility closet, such as bleach (also food safe in small quantities).

because excessive salt and food coloring is just like bleach and dirty rat innards.

After several minutes, your partner-in-crime Phil Lempert addressed the group...

Crime? What crime? Inviting you to dinner? Giving you free food?

What good P.R. teams do not do is lie to build attendance. Lying to media makes it that much harder for legitimate P.R. teams to achieve their goals. Build trust, not facades.

P.R. teams lie all the time. This is what people refer to as spin. Sure, maybe it's not really lying. But it's just like advertising. Lying wrapped with a pretty bow. And I wouldn't consider food bloggers media any more than I'd consider myself the media. Sorry, maybe it's nit picky, but no.

This line is probably the closest to a sane point made in the post and even it is pushing it:

Whether a belief is grounded in religion or science or completely random, part of your job as a chef is to support it. This is not taste preference, such as putting ketchup on steak tartare, this is what one chooses to eat. Would you feed beef to a Hindu? Swine to someone kosher? Or, chicken to a vegan? I am none of those, but would never force them to do something against their belief.

No. Seriously, no. Do not compare this to feeding beef to a Hindu. Or non kosher pig during Passover. Or even vegans. This is an insult to them.

Believing in natural products that haven't been processed is a fair belief to have. I, too, think there's way too much unnecessary shit in our food. There's absolutely no reason for high fructose corn syrup in bread, for example. But this is not an appropriate analogue.

But let's be clear here: this should not have even been a surprise. All these bloggers needed to do is a little bit of legwork. The last blogger actually referred to the group as "the media." Well, the media actually does research beforehand. What would a little research have uncovered?

George Duran is a spokesman for Imusa, selling things like pressure cookers and cookware.

At least as of January of this year, George Duran has worked with Con Agra Foods. There are even pictures of him. Seriously, this is not that hard.

Of course, not everyone who attended was as flagrantly pissed off. Kimberly Coleman took it all in stride and didn't get bent out of shape.

We were all shocked. You could have knocked us over with a feather, because we never saw that coming. Personally, I found it hilarious. I turned to my friend who came with me and said, “Oh my gosh…I feel like Justin Timberlake on Punk’d!” (I didn’t almost cry/totally lose my street cred for a minute though…but that’s another commentary.) In any event, from what I observed (and I could totally be wrong/people could have went home and had totally different reactions) the group on my night thought that it was a fun way for MC to prove their point that their new lasagna was as good as homemade lasagna. (I couldn’t stop teasing my Italian friend for not knowing the difference though…he grew up on his grandmother’s authentic Italian food!)

But you know what they say. One person's hilarious joke is another person's hellish nightmare. Or something like that.

This all kinda reminds me of this episode of Penn & Teller in a way


P.S. Don't get me started on bottled water.
P.P.S. Maybe this from Consumer Reports was just too late for some bloggers.

Boobies

It's no secret that I like Scandinavia, so I often find myself reading about or looking at things that are somewhat Scandinavian. I've read a bit about Stieg Larsson's books and some of the controversy surrounding them—namely that his partner feels cheated by his estate for getting nothing. So she held the last book hostage. But now that they are turning the books, turned into Swedish movies, into American movies, there's more controvery. And it's Boobs. Breasts. Nipples. Tits. Whatever word you choose. I'll usually read comments on articles to see what people think, until I realize that humans are pretty stupid, and oftentimes I'll refute them to myself because, well, that's what I do, I guess. But I thought this might be a good topic to discuss and since it's just me here, I'll use the comments to foment a sort of pseudo-discussion. Oh yeah. But first, the picture in all it's tortured, nippled glory:

So there it is.

I've not actually read the books, nor do I know what they're about, so I won't go into that here, but the movie and books are pretty dark from what I understand. Very rated-R, which is something not many studios are willing to do: put $100 million into a rated-R movie. So this movie poster seems to fit my limited understanding of the movie and the books. But lets look at some comments, shall we?

Smoking hot? She’s flat as a board. They should have got someone with boobs.

Of course this comment shows up, I'm just surprised it wasn't first (it was second). The problem is she does have boobs. They're right there, under Daniel Craig's arm. Thankfully, several people responded with helpful comments like these:

She is supposed to be flat, it is in the book.

which makes it helpful for people like me who didn't read the book to know that the studio didn't insist on cartoonish or fake ones. I also learned that Rooney Mara's breasts are apparently much larger than those of the Swedish girl in the original movies.

This comment in particular caught my attention though.

I don’t have a problem with nudity. But I do have a problem with GRATUITOUS nudity, just I have a problem with gratuitous violence. Lisbeth Salander is fighting back from being a victim. To have her posed in such a vulnerable state (and yes, when you’re nude, you’re vulnerable, whether you’re “strong” or not) really negates the power that the Lisbeth character has earned. She is supposed to be the protector, not Blomquist. I doubt that Stieg Larsson would have approved this campaign.

I fail to understand how this is gratuitous nudity. Of course, gratuitous means something different to each individual person, but this is hardly X-rated.

But I think this person is wrong. She says being nude makes you vulnerable. This is true. And yes, Lisbeth (apparently) is fighting back. But this person is flat out wrong. This movie poster negates nothing. This movie poster does not make the character weak, nor does it portray her as such. Nothing about this poster takes away any of the power gained because, yes being nude or posing nude makes one vulnerable.. But only to the extent that they let it do so.

Instead of letting this act drain the character, Rooney Mara has embraced it and that takes a certain amount of strength, doesn't it? How many people would willingly put their half-naked bodies on display for millions of people to see and critique?

Even more importantly, I wonder how many women this picture could inspire to be happy with themselves. As some commenters pointed out, Rooney Mara has small breasts. So what? So do lots of ladies. You don't need to have giant silicone-enhanced breasts to display them. And our society would probably be better off if a  lot more people realized that.

I think this comment sums up, more or less, how I feel on the subject:

A lot of the comments here perfectly illustrate why most of the world regard American as a culturally bankrupt nation. It’s not scandalous or dirty or shocking, it’s just a topless woman. I swear, the moral majority has screwed this country up beyond repair.

Specifics On My Free And Open Arts Studio

Earlier today, Krissy asked me about my post from a week ago regarding an open arts studio. Her question was simple, but perplexed me nonetheless. She asked, (I'm paraphrasing) "So what do you want to do? Is this hypothetical or something you want to do?" I was taken aback because anytime she mentions reading my blog, I blush, but also because I though, "well, isn't it obvious?" But maybe it isn't. I assured her that I want to do it for reals, maybe not so seriously considering she walked in on me in my "Hipster week" look, which makes me look ridiculous.

In a future post, I'll write about fundraising ideas and other details, but this post will be more about general classes. Obviously this is merely some quick brainstorming so this will by no means be complete or final. So there's that.

I will attempt to do this in something resembling a coherent and organized manner.

There are probably an infinite manner of mediums for art. Really if something exists, you can create something with it, or on it. This is really quite fascinating that, in essence, arts is made with anything and everything. There are always barriers to entry for anything, but with art, the barrier can often be quite simple to overcome.

Golf can be fun, but if you're no good at it, the people you're playing with might not tolerate your having fun at shooting a fifteen on every hole. Then there's the cost of clubs and greens fees. Baseball, too, isn't much fun when you never, ever hit the ball. True story, in my career in little kids baseball I got two hits. Both in the same game. I'm also fairly certain it's the only two times I swung the bat. Suffice to say, I was very deliberate in everything I did whilst playing baseball.

But art can be made on cardboard or the blacktop using rocks or chalk. Art can last forever (at least, centuries) or be disposable. Art can be physically, mentally, and emotionally draining or shallow. Art can be fancy pants or accessible. In reality, everything that surrounds us is art. Sometimes art is random other times it is calculated. Art does not discriminate (though, the art world can be very discriminating); a blind person can create.

That said, I'm going to try and break down various ideas into more general sections or categories.

Textiles

The first such category of classes will be textiles. Textiles surround us everywhere, and one can improvise with them pretty easily.

Stuffies

My first idea is stuffies. Who doesn't love stuffed animals? Who doesn't have someone in their life who would appreciate stuffed animals? Stuffed animals can be created in numerous ways, in varying complexities, for people of any age. Yes, I don't believe stuffed animals are solely for children. I have at least three of them within five feet of me.

Stuffies can be made very simply in a few minutes by sewing some felt together, or planned out over months leaving you with a whale that takes up an entire room. You can make them out of felt or fabric. You can knit or crochet them. You can make literally anything out of anything resembling a fabric. In fact, I bet you could make them out of other items, but I'm not sure how most people would feel about a cardboard stuffy.



Knitting & Crochet

Being in Woodbury and near Southbury, which are probably the undisputed champions of the world in elderly per capita, crocheting and knitting seem like obvious areas for classes. I especially like that young people are taking these crafts that are traditionally seen as very elderly and injecting them with a youthfulness that might not exist without a marketplace like Etsy.

Knitting and crochet are also limited only by one's imagination. You can knit or crochet almost anything. Want a blanket? How about an Ottoman? Stuffies? Yup, they too can be made with yarn. A fun offshoot of knitting and crocheting would be the process in creating yarn. I know there are quite a few yarn makers nearby to partner with. Any time I've met one, they loved talking about their animals and the yarn they make from their furs.

Basketry

I don't know anything about basketry, but I think it's intriguing. I saw a guy in Hawaii making them out of, I think, palm fronds. This guy clearly just sat there all day making hats and baskets to make a living.

Weaving

This, too, I know nothing about. Weaving is one of those things that seems exceptionally simple, but I imagine is far more complex. You can create some beautiful things with weaving though. I imagine that weaving is a very practical craft as well. You can make rugs, for example. Rugs are expensive. Making your own rugs and rugs for others seems a whole lot better than heading to Target and buying one of their generic rugs. You could make your own instead of blowing a few hundred bucks at Anthropologie, too. But like I said, I don't know anything about weaving.

Making Clothes

Maybe "Seamstressing" (is that a word?) would be a better title? Either way, making clothes intrigues me. I know Krissy would do it if she could sew. I always appreciate when people wear clothes that they make themselves. Of course, I think Jemma is the only person I've been able to say this about, since she made the dress she wore to mine and Krissy's wedding. I think this could be fun, though.

Sewing

I think sewing is an extension of the previous section. Or maybe the previous section is really more of a subsection of sewing. Either way, there's promise in teaching sewing. Everybody should have a very basic working knowledge of sewing (Think: refastening buttons, etc). Then there is hand sewing, which when done right adds an entirely different look to products/items. Sewing machines can do all kinds of fancy shmancy things, too.

Needlepoint

I don't personally care much for needlepoint. It's neat in it's own way, I just don't think it's my style. Maybe this is because most needlepoint is the ballet dancer or wolf crap you see at craft stores. Also, my grandma does it, so there's that. But as far as I understand it, needlepoint is basically pixel art with yarn. In that respect, I feel like I could like pixel art, so long as the endproduct wasn't so...cliche.

Quilting

I think more people should quilt. The irony, of course, is that I've never made a quilt, but I know I will. Think of all the fun family projects that could be made and turned into a quilt. If Krissy and I had children, I'm pretty sure we'd be saving little bits and bobs of art here and there for quilting. I'm a big fan of taking artwork, especially that of children, and turning it into something more display-worthy. Quilts seem like a perfect extension of that ideal.

Printmaking

Block Prints

Linoleum, wood, metal cuts. There's a certain magic in making a block print; cutting or carving them takes a bit of time, but it's very relaxing. Sometimes carving them can be a bit confusing if you're unfamiliar with positive and negative space, or working in reverse, but the worst that can happen is going to be a flaw that adds to the final print anyway.

Screen Printing

If I had the space and money, I'd have a screen printing machine. I'd crank out stuff like you couldn't believe. But that's not exactly why you're here. Screen printing is beautiful because it's automated to a point, but still very "hand made" in a sense. Each color is applied by hand, one at a time creating generally simple (in color) prints. You can print on probably anything, but for many people paper and fabric would be clear winners. I think screen printing would be a great way to raise funds for supplies, salaries, and equipment, too. I'd really like to have a class where parents take their children's drawings and turn them into t-shirts, ideally t-shirts manufactured in the USA.

Engraving & Etching

I don't know tons about these two, but I'm especially intrigues by etchings. I imagine engravings being involved and difficult to make, whereas I bet there are many ways to create etchings—even with common household items. I'm partial to ideas that people will be able to recreate at their home without needing all manner of specialized equipment. I'd really like to offer classes centering around lithographs and stencils, too. Other options include mezzotint, aquatint, drypoint, and photo-lithography.

Photography

Camera: Basics & Intermediate

Classes focusing on how to use camera and their many, many peripheral devices. What various functions are for and what everything on your camera and in the menus means. May also teach photography basics such as composition, understanding expose, when to listen to your camera and, more importantly, when not to.

Portraiture

Classes focusing on photographing living beings—namely people and animals. Certainly classes centering on photographing children, and allowing children to photograph will be offered too. Discuss various styles of portraiture from classic posed portraits to a more documentary style. Classes on using natural light and studio light would also be a given, which leads me to...

Lighting

Light is amazing and integral to all photographs. Classes on this topic would discuss how to understand and work with light in a natural, intuitive way. Topics would cover how to use the light to your advantage in any situation and also how to use strobes when you're looking for something different.

Landscapes

Landscape classes would be no fun inside, so these classes would head out into the natural beauty of Connecticut for some sweet hands-on training. I can think of plenty of places both near and far that a landscape shooter would love. Could be interesting to organize trips to places that are, ahem, a bit more exotic, too.

Darkroom & Film

Want to develop your own black and white film with household materials? Want to know how to set up your own darkroom in your home? Do you want to make prints from your negatives, or scan them into your computer for touch ups and printing? Really anything pertaining to film could be covered here.

Book Arts

Bookbinding: Beginner Through Advanced

I love making books! Making books by hand takes some time, but is really very relaxing. There are many types of bindings and ways to create books and all will be covered here. Hardcover, softcover, perfect binding, stab bindings, and longstitch are just the beginning. Book repair and conservation could also be covered under this section.

Altered Books

Classes here would focus of using books to create new pieces of art through, you guessed it, alteration. While I'm a bit undecided on whether I like seeing books destroyed, I have to admit that the end result can be pretty unique. In a good way. Altered books can take a flat, almost two dimensional object and turn that into something very sculptural and dynamic. Where bookbinding is the physical act of creating a book, altered books are those books turned into something new. Art books could probably fall under the purview of altered books as well.

Making and Using Book Cloth

Book cloth is great for keeping your finished book together since it resists tears far better than paper, but you're often limited to solid colors at your local store. This class would show various ways to turn any fabric into book cloth and various ways to use said bookcloth.

How To Make Books Out Of Anything

Books really can be made out of anything. My first was made out of a USPS mailing box and some dried acrylic paint. I think this class would be more child-friendly since the class is inherently more down to earth and less erudite. I have some craft foamy stuff in a drawer that would make an excellent children's book cover.

Making Boxes

Making boxes is sort of an extension of making hardcover books. Both use the same materials, just in slightly different ways. Making your own boxes, say for jewelry, photos, or books is far easier than you'd think. What are the odds you'll find a box the exact size you'll need anyway? Make it yourself and you can be certain it's perfect. Boxes are a great way to present books, gifts, or portfolios, too.

In Conclusion...

Well, I think that's a good start. Obviously this is just a very general outline of avenues worth exploring. Not knowing most of these arts and crafts myself, I'd need to get in touch with an awful lot of people who share in the same idea I have of a wonderful, free, and open art studio and would be willing to teach to their respective expertise. I know that I've left out plenty of worthy arts and crafts (painting; drawing) worth teaching too, so this list will be pretty heavily amended over time; but like I said, it's a start.

More to come!

Adventures In Advertising - The Camera Store

I read a fair amount of photography blogs (when I'm not reading about politics or the news, natch.) As such, I end up being snookered into watching a lot of videos that are, well, lame. Granted, a lot of them are actually inspiring to watch, and can be quite educational. But more than a few are lame.

This isn't anyone's fault, really. If my camera did video, I'd be contributing to this trend. But you know what? I bet I'd think that my videos were awesome. Others, of course, would think they are lame. The important thing is that people are creating videos that they want to, others be damned. I like this mentality.

This video has all the makings of being lame, but it isn't. Well, to me at least. If you don't like photography, you'd probably hate any photography video, since they are either a) extremely dry; or b) extremely lame. This video I think manages quite well to capture my attention. Though, I couldn't watch it too many times in a row.

As for being an advertisement for a camera store? It's amazing and works really well. Someone who likes cameras will appreciate it. Someone who doesn't know what they want will probably be amused enough to check them out. And I bet they had a blast filming this, so it's win-win-win all the way around.

It really makes you realize though just how similar camera equipment is to various articles of war.

Camera equipment is often put into waterproof, airtight, crush-proof containers. I imagine guns are put into similar containers. Some of them are even shiny and metal making them look extra illicit.

I like that these guys took advantage of the similarities and did so in a fun way.

Besides, my favorite way to make Krissy laugh is to hold down the shutter release; she can't resist the click click click click.

Adventures In Advertising

I don't think anybody denies the fact that Disney knows how to advertise (or cross promote), but their ads don't usually jump out at me. Yes, they are executed flawlessly and look perfect; but that doesn't really do anything for me. Generally, ads (and theirs are no exception) seem flat. Too perfect, not enough panache.

I'm not saying this ad is particularly ballsy, but there's a certain subtle emotion playing through it that isn't the usual overtly happy that Disney tends to go with.

Star Tours has always been one of my favorite rides. I like simulators, but this one had something special to it. Needless to say I was rather disappointed that it'd be closed for Krissy and my post-wedding vacation at Disney.

And the feeling Darth Vader gets when he sees the "Coming Soon" sign is exactly how I felt.

Of course, the rest of the ad is fun and quirky too, which is great, but what makes it for me is how jarring the commercial is. Everything stops. Drama.

I approve. It get's a stamp.

Advertising: Utilizing Obnoxious Customers To Your Advantage

I approve of this type of advertising.

What would be even better is if they had these play before the movies instead of the regular canned "don't text" ones. But this will certainly do.

Nice use of Shut Up And Let Me Go by The Ting Tings

Adventures In Advertising: The Dark Side

Some people think of advertising as an annoyance, while others think of it as an art. Still, to others, advertisements are more sales tactics than anything approaching art. Me personally, I'm somewhere in camp one and two.

One one hand, advertisements really can be a nuisance at times. Does anyone really enjoy looking at sixty pages of advertisements just to get to the table of contents? I actually enjoy looking at the photos, but since they do not change from one magazine to the next, it gets old fast.

Then there's the whole "advertorial" bait and switch. You're reading what you think is an editorial, and it just sounds a wee bit...lofty. Magazines are rarely that generous with their compliments, so something must be up. And indeed, there is something up. Advertorials are written by advertisers to look like they were written by the editors of the magazine. Beauty magazines and other decidedly female magazines are probably the worst offenders I've seen.

But then, advertisements really are an art form. Consider that you need to convince someone to buy something with nothing but a photo, or a thirty second video. If they are already a customer, you're set, but how does one convince a non customer to buy your product with just a photo, or short video?

Then of course there is the production that goes into advertising. Setting aside the fact that the end result is to, hopefully, sell a product, advertisements are kind of beautiful. With some exceptions, most of the photos in advertisements are top-notch and they should be-- they pay out the ass for it. Commercials are like mini movies of their own, with presents a challenge all it's own.

Granted, by no means do I mean to imply that all advertising is equally artistic. There are plenty of ads that are nothing more than a sales pitch, and others yet are thinly veiled attempts at best. But the good ones, the advertisements that really matter and make a lasting impression as being something special, those are most definitely art.

This is one such example:



Consider a few things after watching this commercial. First, they've not only used the Darth Vader costume, but also the Imperial March. While it may not seem like that big of a deal, George Lucas isn't known for letting just anybody use Star Wars as a vehicle to sell a product. Or in this case, to use Star Wars as a vehicle to sell quite literally, a vehicle.

The ad features a child dressed as Darth Vader. This is adorable! I'm always happy to see children in roles that are a bit different. I'd be only too happy if I never had to see another ad of a throng of children rushing into the kitchen to eat an entire plate of Totinos, or some other pseudo-food. People don't give children enough credit, but they also don't let children simply be children. This is important, and what makes this commercial work.

The ad is very Volswagen. Their ads, while not terribly unique in automotive ads, are very simple and understated. This advertisement is no exception. In this case, the simplicity and understatement works flawlessly, because I think anything overly sophisticated would ruin the playfulness of the ad.

And that, my friends, is how you make an advertisement not just beautiful, but work.

My only qualm? I really, really wish there was a matching print advertisement to go along with this. For all I know, there may be, but I doubt it. Most print ads for cars just show the cars. I think this is one case where a slightly quirky, and thus different, print ad would go a long way to capturing peoples' attention, which in these times, capturing anyone's attention for more than a fleeting moment can be damned near impossible.

Below is my contribution. You can thank me (and pay me) later, Volkswagen.

On Growing Up A Maksymiw

A lighthearted one, this time.

First this:


The song is Real American by Rick Derringer.

It's sad that now Hulk Hogan/Terry Bolea is doing ads for rent-a-center and scammy debt consolidation things. He should get back into acting. His movies are classics.

Big Flow sounds like it's for an entirely different product altogether:



I love Honey Nut Cheerios:


This was me when I was little:


I like how Hulk Hogan isn't even in the commercial.

Another one, but this one's recent


I know you're familiar with this one


This might be my new favorite song


Hogan/Bollea talking about life outside of the ring:


I like how he describes wrestling and how it isn't fake, it's predetermined. To be honest, I think wrestling has gotten more fake as it's aged. Back in the day, they went at it. The winner may have been known ahead of time, but they really got hurt, they really bled, they really but their bodies through a lot to entertain millions of people. Ladder matches, cage matches, table matches, wrestling was brutal.

Now though, I'm not so sure. It seems so much more contrived and it just isn't entertaining. The characters have lost their spunk. With all the steroids, probably literally.