Whitney Is A Terrible Show

I'm watching Whitney.

This. Show. Is. Terrible.

I've watched all four episodes now. I wanted to like it. I've liked her on the various roasts on Comedy Central, so I was pretty optimistic about her eponymous show.

The show says it's filmed in front of a live audience. This means that every sentence  is followed by a long pause, and the audience gives a very poor quality laugh track (I'm sure there is some Sweetening involved, here). I don't blame them, nothing in the show is really funny enough to laugh at. I'm not even sure there's much humor in the show at all.

The show is ostensibly about Whitney, a photographer, (who doesn't hold a camera properly, mind you) and her live-in boyfriend of five years. They are not married, because they're not the marrying folk. Or something. Whitney appears to be some sort of feminist too. Or maybe she just likes being macho; I'm not entirely sure.

The Pilot consists of Whitney going to a sex shop to buy a costume. Apparently their sex life is in a lull. She's not hot enough on her own, she needs to dress in a plastic/latex nurse costume. Her boyfriend ends up in the hospital, and they realize that their relationship isn't picture perfect, but it works for them. Gawker posted a video of Whitney saying "okay" over twenty times, or, once a minute. I suppose they needed more filler.

The next episode is First Date. Whitney realizes that she and her boyfriend have never been on an official first date. Of course, they've been on dates before, so this is a lie. She means that they didn't have a normal, romantic one. Like you see on TV and movies. On shows like Whitney. But, Whitney doesn't even seem to care about that sort of nonsense throughout the show, so it sounds like she's really just trying to make her and her boyfriends life miserable.

This is the only logical conclusion I can make since that is exactly what happens. She takes the First Date pseudo-seriously, and her boyfriend kinda doesn't take it seriously at all. She gets mad at him, and they go home. But she decides to be funny and tells him she doesn't go home with guys on the first date. Her boyfriend, Alex, takes this time to point out that, in fact, she does. She closes the door on him, and he sleeps at a friend's apartment. They spend the rest of the episode apart scheming against each other with the help of their friends. You know, like normal people. Wait, you mean you don't do this kind of crap to your significant other? Hmph, must just be them.

The next episode is called Silent Treatment and centers around Alex looking at another girl. You see, in TV world this isn't allowed. Certainly one should never gawk but what would most likely be a rather mundane part of everyday life turns into an entire episode that takes place over an entire day.

Whitney questions Alex and he lies. He figures Whitney doesn't want to hear he looked at another lady. Apparently, she's the only pretty person in the world now, all other women are ugly. I suspect that if he had looked at an "ugly" lady, she wouldn't have made an issue of it. Needless to say, she doesn't believe him that he didn't check out said lady and she gives him the silent treatment. The episode names they come up with on this show are awe-inspiring.

She soon realizes that her voice is really quite grating, and that she is actually rewarding Alex by not speaking to him. She's usually yelling and has a pretty monotonous voice, after all. Now, she ups the ante, and tortures her boyfriend by actually talking to him now. We all know that in the real world there is no greater punishment than having to listen to your significant other speak. To you. Regularly.

Right?

Whitney decides to annoy and harass Alex until he confesses that he checked the lady out, and proceeds to point out all the other good looking women at the bar-like place they always hang out. Naturally, Whitney does not approve. I don't remember how they settle this. He probably won't tell her when he sees an attractive lady, and she probably will try to ignore it. That's always the best way to solve problems--sweep them under the rug and ignore them.

Also, apparently their friend, Roxanne, wants to make her ex jealous and takes slutty Myspace pictures of herself.

This brings us to tonight's episode.

Basically Whitney and Alex try to be romantic. Again. They go on an awkward date. She deals with her friend's crisis. Her friend, Lily, is afraid that her boyfriend, Neil, is going to propose to her. She wants him to, so basically she's upset over nothing.

Alex and Whitney's date eventually takes them to where Neil is proposing to Lily. The entire time, Whitney complains and is a jerk to Alex.

That's really what makes this show terrible. Whitney is essentially about a couple that is bored and can hardly stand each other. But they love each other in some weird way for some strange reason. But they don't want to get married because Whitney's parents divorced.

Whitney is always rude to her boyfriend Alex. Alex is always pretty ambivalent to Whitney. There's nothing here to draw you in. None of the characters are even likable. I could care less what happens to the characters. This is a bad thing for a television show. The magic of shows like Friends or Community is that you care about the characters. All of them. You are interested in them and invested in them. People hoped for years that Ross and Rachel would get together. Sort of how people hoped Dawson would end up with Joey (but didn't).

Goodbye Keith, We'll Miss You

In the world of news, there are very few people who can make it exciting. While Keith Olbermann may have at times been a little over the top, I think he brought something that the news needed: unrelenting honesty. And I think that with that comes a certain amount of anger, which at times can be hard to control for someone in a  position like that. I can understand many of his frustrations, and I think his show was something of a triumph, if a bit biased.

There are few wordsmiths quite like Keith, though, especially in the news, and that is what really made his show enjoyable; I love words, and clearly Keith Olbermann does too.

Visit msnbc.com for breaking news, world news, and news about the economy

So we bid you adieu, for now. I'm sure you'll be back sometime, somewhere, and we'll be waiting. Besides, we don't watch tv anymore anyway, so hopefully you end up somewhere where we can catch up.

Good night and Good Luck. Though, I'm not convinced you'll need it.

On Growing Up A Maksymiw

A lighthearted one, this time.

First this:


The song is Real American by Rick Derringer.

It's sad that now Hulk Hogan/Terry Bolea is doing ads for rent-a-center and scammy debt consolidation things. He should get back into acting. His movies are classics.

Big Flow sounds like it's for an entirely different product altogether:



I love Honey Nut Cheerios:


This was me when I was little:


I like how Hulk Hogan isn't even in the commercial.

Another one, but this one's recent


I know you're familiar with this one


This might be my new favorite song


Hogan/Bollea talking about life outside of the ring:


I like how he describes wrestling and how it isn't fake, it's predetermined. To be honest, I think wrestling has gotten more fake as it's aged. Back in the day, they went at it. The winner may have been known ahead of time, but they really got hurt, they really bled, they really but their bodies through a lot to entertain millions of people. Ladder matches, cage matches, table matches, wrestling was brutal.

Now though, I'm not so sure. It seems so much more contrived and it just isn't entertaining. The characters have lost their spunk. With all the steroids, probably literally.

The Rally To Restore Sanity And/Or Fear

This will be pretty picture-heavy; be forewarned.

In The Beginning...

This past weekend was Jon Stewart and Steven Colbert's Rally To Restore Sanity And/Or Fear. I suppose you could consider it a parody of Glenn Beck's Restoring Honor rally, except with less tea bagging and more unadulterated awesome. Let me begin by saying it was a very long, exhausting day of essentially standing still. We got up around three in the morning to leave at four. The bed was pretty stiff which, combined with the fact that we were a bit sick, basically meant that neither of us slept very well; I think I slept for, at most, a few hours. Four a.m. hits, and it's time to hit the road; two and a half hours later and we arrived at the metro station just outside of D.C Thankfully, there are 3,400 parking spaces and we were able to park and wait for the trains to show up at 7:00. I was excited seeing the people around who were headed to the rally; 'twas refreshing seeing older people going and not just young people looking for a free show.


After settling in, we were greeted by various games and videos on the Jumbotron, which made it less painful to wait for the show to start. All in all. waiting went by fairly quicker than I'd have thought. There were all kinds of people with all sorts of signs all similarly excited for whatever it was that we were all about to witness/ It was exhilarating/

Our Surroundings...

Settled in for a long day, we found a place to stand (and stand, and stand...). We were actually surprisingly close. If I had to guess, I'd say we were maybe one hundred feet away or so. Alas, neither Krissy nor myself are very tall, so without the perfect conditions, seeing stages can be tough. The media pit was in front of us and to the left; one of the comedy central cameras was in front of us; and a tent, which I think was another media tent (for viewing and such) was in front of us and to the right.

Some fellow rally goers in our surrounding area


Unfortunately, to say Krissy's view was obstructed would be an understatement


There was an older lady sitting behind us (this was before the rally, some people had brought chairs so they weren't standing for 8+ hours). Personally, I really liked her sign.


This Sikh gentleman was next to me. He was on camera a lot (probably the turban and beard). He was nice. He was pretty patient with a girl who insisted on everyone surrounding him putting towels on their heads in an effort to get on tv.


This guy was to our right.


This one, too.


This girl was to our left


This was our view. You can see the edge of the media pit to the left (note the stairs), the tent to the right, and the cameraman (and his damned ladder!) basically right in front of us.


Even Jeffrey came along for the trip! Here he is in our free noisemaker/megaphone type thing.

The Media Comes Calling...

Here is one of the anchors giving a report during the rally. I'm not sure who he is but hes older and looked distinguished, ergo I liked him.


Then there's these two (from CNN). The woman was taking notes, asking people questions, etc. She seemed so bored and uninterested, though. Then there's the hotshot in the aviators and leather jacket. He seemed pretty happy with himself hopping about; he seems like a douchebag to me.


A cameraman from NBC News


Before the rally began, one of the cameramen (I think) was carrying his son around on his shoulders. I feel weird taking pictures of kids in public sometimes. Not that I don't want to. I always want to. But I know adults, and I don't need some errant parent going apeshit on me because they take offense, so this is the picture I got.


I liked this photographer. In a sea of telephoto lenses and ultramodern digital cameras here he was taking a photo with a panoramic camera. It looks like his other camera might be a Leica, too, but I can't tell (and, truth be told, have never seen one in person)

Let The Games Begin...

Jon Stewart singing was an interesting experience. The song was exceptionally funny.


Sheryl Crow performing with Kid Rock backed by The Roots (who are actually kind of awesome)


Mick Foley (who is awesome) accepting his award


The O'Jay's performing Love Train


Papier Mache puppet Steven Colbert: The fear monster


John Oliver (dressed as Peter Pan) coming out to help Jon Stewart slay the fear monster


Tony Bennett performing America, The Beautiful, which was awesome/ The picture is a bit low quality though.


The end performance. Mavis Staples, Tony Bennett, Ozzy, Cat Stevens (Yusuf Islam), Jeff Tweedy, Sheryl Crow, The Roots, The Mythbusters, and many more!


I like John Oliver's expression in this picture


A better picture showing more of the people on stage than the previous pictures


Headed home (tired, achy feet)! At this point we still had a two hour drive back to Delaware. I liked these advertisements set out by Media Matters though. Very nice tie-in to the rally. I'm not sure if they were only in the metro or not, since we didn't explore too much of D.C. but there were banners inside the metro stations, too. Very cool. I approve.

These Are Not End Times

The rally was amazing, and awe-inspiring. It's hard to fathom 250,000 people, but one can't help but feel flooded by all sorts of emotions. I can't express how happy I am that we attended the rally; it was amazing feeling a part of something. The experience was absolutely amazing and I hope that people will learn from it, and that the rhetoric in this country can change.

Thumbs up from Tricky Dick

Man Cat in His Man Cat Cave

mancatcave
Originally uploaded by Uke and Germ Photography

Pastel on Paper
This is an early drawing of Man Cat in his Man Cat Cave.

Some of you may or may not know, but Man Cat is a voracious hunter. He plays many roles, but the fact is, he likes to relax just like the rest of us after a long day. Seen here, Man Cat is lounging in his plaid lumberjack smoking jacket, blue pants and comfortably furry yellow (probably dog hair) slippers.

Man Cat loves T.V. Once, he was flipping through the channels and saw a show called Dog the Bounty Hunter. Sadly, he read it a little too fast and thought it read "The Dog Bounty Hunter" (or something) and was a little disappointed to see some grizzly, dirty looking guy in leather not hunting dogs; clearly Man Cat's excitement was short lived.