My Milk Manifesto

I love milk. There is perhaps no truer fact in all of the world than this. I drink it almost exclusively every day. I can drink a gallon in a day if I am thirsty enough and so inclined as to drink it. Milk is the first thing I drink every morning and the last thing I drink before bed. There is little comfort in any drink other than milk.


And, for me, there is only one kind of milk: whole. Whole milk is delicious. Drinking whole milk is like lapping at a pool of heavenly dessert in liquid form. I never tire of milk's opaque goodness. Though, in these desperate times, I've relented and bought other milks because they were on sale.

My love for milk is so true, I've decided to pen a poem in its honor:

Oh milk, your snowy gaze does catch my eye
You rest above where my eggs do lie
A Day apart, I fear, brings dismal days
An eternal milk pool for which I pray
Will keep my milk monster at bay

Milk, aside from being delicious on its own, is rather versatile to boot. When added to cereal, one can sometimes hear the cereal speak to you. Added to coffee it takes is from an awful abyss of blackness to a cool brown in addition to making the coffee taste better. Milk is vital in baking, and I pretty much substitute is for anything anytime a recipe calls for water. (Except in bread and recipes where it matters.) Meatballs have a creamy texture with milk instead of water. Hot cocoa without milk is a travesty and shouldn't even be considered cocoa when made with water.

You can even get milk from animals other than cattle:

Milk can be flavored with chocolate, strawberry, and maybe lots of other flavors. Maybe hazelnut, or chocolate hazelnut would be yummy. Maybe someone could make a berry milk, too.

Milk goes into ice cream (though cream is the majority), sherbet, and gelato. Milk helps create a milkshake by lending more than just its name.

Some people bathe with it, though I can't imagine wasting that much milk for non-drinking purposes.

Annie Leibovitz took a pretty famous photo of Whoopi Goldberg in a milk-filled tub for the cover of Rolling Stone.

If I could, I think I'd like to drink milk this way, can upon can into milk cans. Though, I think that is even too much milk for me, not that I wouldn't mind trying to drink it all. =)

There is much more to be said about my love of milk and other dairy products, but for now this is where I leave you.

An Old Poem I Wrote

A Breath of Spring

Whereby you’re gone, a summer’s sigh;

When will this break become undone.

This day, so soon, I hope to come;

Another time to see you nigh.

A star struck visit here or there,

Could never satiate this burdened heart.

You’ll be my center, my twilight mare;

This awkward path—no longer dark.

This waking love had never shone;

A parenthesis ne’er stands alone.

—Dennis Maksymiw

I wrote this while I was in college for some random required class. Well, it wasn't a class per se. It was this weird required mini class they had all freshman do. We'd get into groups, talk, get to know each other, and have these mini assignments. For the life of me I can't remember anything from it except the room it was in and that one person wanted to be an astronomy major, but wasn't. (I went to an engineering school).

I remember that this poem got entered into a poetry book. I don't think it's special though because I feel like they invited a lot of poems in. They tried to get me to go to Florida and get some award or trophy thing, too. It seemed scammy, though, like the Who's Who of American College Students thing where you pay $60 and they send you a book with your picture, and the pictures of 5,000 other kids in it. Needless to say I didn't go, but I did let them use my poem. It was fun, though.

For a long time my poem was viewable on the internet on poetry.com, or something. Unfortunately, the website was bought out by some big company and it's no longer there. But I found it in my e-mail and I thought it'd be fun to post and share it. I like it, it's kind of funny, but sweet. If I recall, I wrote it fairly quickly, and I was quite pleased that I was able to use the word parenthesis.

In high school, my freshman year, I had a project for English class. I remember I wrote a bunch of poems (I wrote a lot back in the day), and I remember designing the whole thing in Photoshop and Paint Shop Pro. I really would like to find that one day because I have a feeling it was atrociously designed. I didn't know what I was doing, and it would be really funny to see. More importantly though I'd like to see the poems. If I were to find them in my mom's house, it would be like finding a treasure. I think I may know where they are, but I don't know where anything is anymore because my mom moved.

It would just be fun to see them, though.

Oh, and I got an A.

Some Drawings

I feel like I haven't posted any drawings in some time, so I'm going to. I guess these are sketches, since none of them took much time, if you want to get into semantics.

First, is this fellow. I draw faces a lot, because they're the only thing I generally feel confident in. It's odd, because faces are, in my opinion, the most important part. You can get by with some features being off, but the face needs to be kind of perfect. If the face is off, the whole image suffers. It's like photographs: if the viewer doesn't connect with the person in the image, they don't connect with the image. That's why Tyra goes crazy for fierce eyes, and why people always say to smile with your eyes. If your eyes say "I'm happy" the picture does too.

But I draw faces, mainly because they turn out okay. I'm certainly not that great at drawing them by any means, but compared to anything else I draw, I think they are the best that I do. Obviously, that sentence is not the best that I do, because it sounds awful, but I am leaving it, because I like typing in stream of consciousness.



He kind of reminds me of Golem. Or is it Gollum? I think that's it. It's funny because that wasn't my intent. I think I drew the eyes first, and then the head. He has a weird mustache effect going on, which I'm not crazy about, and his lips look off. But that's okay, because he's off. And it was one of my earlier drawings of a face, so I can use inexperience along with ineptitude as an excuse.

His ears are awfully pointy. Normally I don't even draw ears, and you can see why. They aren't the right size, and they are at different heights. I don't know how to draw ears, so I usually leave them out, or try to see how others have done them, which I did not do here, obviously.

His nose is funny. It's acceptable, considering at this point I kind of did noses as an afterthought. By that I mean, I knew they were required, obviously, but my whole not knowing how to draw them thing tended to leave them being drawn quickly and poorly. In this case, it's funny looking, but at least you can tell it's a nose.

He has weird skin. I don't know what most of those lines are; they're not wrinkles.They make him look somewhat wooden. I think this was my was of showing topography early on. I didn't know what else to do or how else to do it, so I think I just drew lines, apparently at random.He looks like the Ultimate Warrior or something.

I like his liver spots on his head. I think that's what they are called, anyway.


This is a drawing of a fictitious beast of the ages. I modeled it off of several other fearsome animals throughout time. Can you guess what they all are?



First, I am horrible with perspective, and my landscapes suffer horribly from it. In this case, there is nothing in the background except for a tiny volcano shaped like a cupcake liner.

Second, I like the shadow underneath him. I'm really happy with it, then and now. It looks good, I am pleased.

Third, I can't really draw animals, so they are always in this same stance. It's the way I've drawn dogs for as long as I can remember, and I have not progressed much. Similarly, the way I draw cars has not progressed much either, but I don't have any examples I can share right now.

This is a combination of many creatures. First, you may notice the unicorn horn. He has healing powers from this, but can also use it for self defense. Unicorns never attack, never forget that. He also has a small rhinoceros horn underneath that. This can be used for ramming and attacking despite the fact that it is shorter than the unicorn horn. Don't try and bring up physics or math here, that's just how it works, okay?

he has a trunk, like an elephant for bathing and such (the ladies don't like 'em dirty). He can also use it like a turkey baster to soak up any type of fluid and spray it at his predators, or to get a fine looking ladies attention. He just has to remember that urine and toxins are for the predators and pretty, pleasant smelling liquids are for the ladies.

He has a triceratops-like shield around his head. This is rounded, though. This can collect water to and dissipate heat to keep his head cool in the summer and collect snow in the winter to make him look like a lion.

He has the body of an elephant, with some parts of him being covered in scale-like thingamabobs. These are for defense, I guess. Or maybe he just really likes dragons. His back plates are from a Stegosaurus. These have many purposes. First, they dissipate heat pretty well. They can also maybe be used for defense, although scientists are not quite sure about that just yet. They make handy perches for birds to sit on too, when he's not in motion. I think this may keep him cool in the summer because he will be shaded by the birds. Or maybe he just likes the company.

He's also got a spiky tail, like that dinosaur. It resembles an armadillo, but it's huge? I never liked them because they're ugly, but I liked their tails. This is an improved version of that. This can be used for defense or offense, or when courting a female. When competing with other males, he will flail his tail about much like giraffes do to gain favor with the females.


Finally, the last drawing. If memory serves, I drew this around Halloween. I like it. The drawing looks better in person than it does on the screen, though.



This is a scene with much tension in it, yet it contains a certain calmness to it. The man and cat are very calm, like they're on prescription medication (they're not, don't worry). Meanwhile, they are surrounded by all kinds of destruction. There are volcanoes oozing magma everywhere, there's a moon that looks like a comet going across the sky, like a giant ball of fiery hell. The clouds are rather ominous, like one of those bizarre storms that just looks photoshopped. But they are still.

The man is holding a broom, though I use the term "holding" with a grain of salt. You'll notice he is ensconced in a cloak, so he can't actually be holding it. Despite what you may think, that is definitely not a Snuggie.

So let's just say his broom is leaning against him. I like the broom though. It turned out well. The handle part looks pretty well detailed, which is impressive for me. I like his face. He has large, puffy cheeks and the most ridiculous mustache I've ever seen for someone in his situation. I also like his hat. I like drawing hats too, and this is probably the first to have some semblance of detail. I feel like I accomplished that in his hat.

The cat looks kind of pissed off, or constipated. Maybe both. Maybe the cat is pissed off because he's constipated. Then again, cats usually look pissed off. The tail looks like I knew what I was doing. I can see a few planes on it, and it has detail otherwise unheard of in my drawings. He looks silly though, and cartoonish. He is scraggly, but loyal to his master. Perhaps his demeanor is as a result of what he and his master do? Maybe that is why his fur is matted and dirty. What adventures these two must enjoy! Oh, I can just imagine.

Or maybe he just tried licking his balls and realized his master had them cut off when he was a kitten. It could really go either way.

Looking Back: I Am/Was A Snarky Bastard (Old School Papers)

I just discovered a couple of old papers I wrote in college. It's actually kind of fun reading them. It's like looking back and seeing a slice of what I was thinking about at a particular time (even if I was forced to consider thinking it).

And, wow, was I sarcastic. I mean, in high school me and two friends did decide to each come up with five words to make the others use in a paper in Political Science class, after all. (I remember olfactory being one of the words Tim Mierzejewski picked. I also remember I won, because I used all ten of their words.)

Here are some excerpts:

Another fault in Kilbourne’s argument is in declaring that this woman was beaten and given a black eye.  In modern society, where appearance plays an enormous role in how people perceive others, makeup creates an alter ego that can constantly be changed—usually to make a person look prettier, though not always—not a repercussion of a man’s anger and frustration.

This is from a paper I wrote in response to a woman who wrote about how advertisements exploit women and children. I was clearly not amused. And kind of a smart ass. Oh, and I'm pretty certain part of why I was so annoyed in my paper, is because the class was all girls, the professor was a woman, and this was written by a feminist. Someone had to give a differing opinion. That someone was, apparently, me. This is how I began my paper:

Jean Kilbourne is a vehement feminist; that must be said.  Despite her instinctive drive to defend women from the cruelty of everyday life, she poses a clouded argument in “Two Ways a Woman Can Get Hurt:”

That has a bit of a bit to it, if I may say so. In a way, I think  it is kind of ballsy. Later, I wrote:

Jean Kilbourne contends that advertising is, by her definition, pornographic.  Although advertisers exploit women in their advertisements, Kilbourne’s ardently feministic viewpoint undermines her argument because she presents a one-sidedly biased argument that fails to recognize that women and children are not the only victims of advertising

The point I was making in my paper at the time is that while women may be exploited in advertising (and children, too), advertising as a currency is exploitative. Men are not exempt from this exploitation, and when people choose to be models, they volunteer for said exploitation. Is it actually exploitation if you volunteer? That was my argument. And that the author is a crazy feminist.

Kilbourne then focuses her attention on Victoria’s Secret, a company that constantly undergoes scrutiny for their televised fashion shows by writing that Victoria’s Secret lingerie “will make women irresistible” (42a).  To defend her claim, Kilbourne references a court case in which a woman accused a man of rape but the jury acquitted him.  I am not a criminal justice expert, but I’m sure that the jury’s decision was not based upon the fact that the woman wore Victoria’s Secret underwear.

=)

Ironically, Kilbourne contradicts herself later on in her article when addressing an advertisement in which a woman objectifies a man by saying that he has “nice buns” and that these advertisements are “often funny” (43b).

After this, I mention that a man doing the same to a woman in public could be sued for sexual harassment.

Unfortunately, society functions in this manner; men must always be conscious of the fact that women hold much more power than their delicate forms present—Kilbourne, however, seems to ignore this fact...

And my favorite part:

Clearly, Kilbourne makes many assumptions that cannot be validated; in fact, many are wrong and tendentious.  To defend her claim, Kilbourne writes about the kinds of toys that boys “play with” such as action figures with oversized breasts.  Correct me if I’m wrong, but aren’t girls the ones who play with dolls with enormous breasts?  In fact, Barbie now has a whole slew of friends with oversized breasts matching hers.  When I was little, I played with GI-Joe’s, little green army men, wrestling men (and not those silicone-injected female “wrestlers” that wrestle in matches to see who can undress the other first), and a multitude of other masculine, non big-breasted, toys.

Score points for "tendentious," that is one awesome word. And, yes, I totally wrote that whole thing in a paper. Because I am awesome.

I think this is a pretty strong point:

Kilbourne utilizes an eclectic array of advertisements, however, one can’t be sure exactly how old some of these advertisements are and since culture incessantly evolves, an advertisement only a few years old may actually be culturally archaic

Next up is a paper I wrote about violence in video games. I was the only person in my class who thought violence in the media didn't contribute to violence in people. Some of my arguments, in hindsight, weren't the greatest, but my basic thesis and opinions hold. Violent people don't evolve from violent media and entertainment. They are, at their core, disturbed people who, for whatever reasons, take out their aggression on others and don't get help. I use an example from a game developed by the Army and Navy and their statements saying they don't train our military with video games, et cetera. Here are some part I found enjoyable:

But does playing Super Mario make me want to go to Italy?  Perhaps the programmers have found some way to implant subliminal messages into video games, which would explain my sudden urge to become a plumber and to outfit myself in ridiculously bright red overalls while doing so.  Maybe I should start talking like him, too: “It’s a me, Mario!”

 Yup, in a paper. A research paper, if I'm not mistaken. Oh, and for bonus nerd points, I quoted Final Fantasy VII in my paper. Yes, I was (and am) really that big of a nerd.

The mere thought of this is ludicrous because simulating violence neither desensitizes children to violence, not manifests them into a cold-hearted killer.

I think I am wrong there, I think the constant violence surrounding us in the news, video games, television, movies, play, etc does desensitize kids. But, I'm not certain what effect that has on society as a whole, and I believe it still is dependent upon the individual. I've spent my entire life playing violent games, watching violent shows and movies, and I have not once hit anybody or gotten into a fight (despite people trying several times, I might add.) For the record, I don't think I'm desensitized, because I am intelligent, and I can see what violence does to people, to towns. I see how it can tear a community apart and create rifts that turn into wars. Violence begets violence; the real kind, though, not the fantastical kind.

A little fear will control the minds of the common people.  Fear is what I consider the most powerful asset to the government and other people of authority.  Socrates said it best: Question Authority

That's the quote from Final Fantasy VII. The Socrates quote is care of my western civilization teacher, Mr. Steponaitis. I don't remember being so anti-government at the time, but it's kind of true. Fear drives everything. Fear drives the news (on the left and the right, Fox is just far more prominent than any liberal publications). Fear drives politics. We've built many of our beliefs upon this debilitating fear, too. I don't like it.

The sad truth is that the video game industry is being wrongfully pursued, and persecuted by lawmakers; video games do not cause violent behavior—unless of course teenagers run amuck swinging video game controllers at random people—but that would never happen, just as I will never transform into an Italian plumber in red overalls.

A couple really awesome visuals in there, if I do say so myself. Also, look at me bringing the red overalls reference back!

Imagine you are located in unfamiliar, hostile territory; also, you are surrounded by terrorists and have but a small group of allies at your side.  Every polygonal piece of scenery brims with the utmost detail and you are overcome with a feeling of euphoria as you tremble with fear because, for just a moment, you believe you are actually on the front lines in the Middle East.  The name of the game is America’s Army, not as gruesome as Saving Private Ryan, but war is not exactly pretty either.

I approve!

In addition, we routinely made trips to the arcade, where I was able to witness who plays games; astoundingly, children are not the only ones that play games (imagine that).

I sound like kind of an ass with the parentheses there, but sarcasm does means "to tear the flesh."

Oh! And remember that Political Science paper I mentioned earlier? I'm pretty sure another word Tim had on his list for us to use was "Parenthesis" as on, just one parenthesis, not two parentheses. I honestly don't remember how I used that in my paper. I think I used a lot of methaphors.

As I have written, I am a gamer, and have been all my life, so this is a very personal subject to me.  I am not a violent person whatsoever.  When I play a game and win, I do not revel in the thought that I slaughtered hundreds (if not more) of creatures; I revel in the fact that I have won—or if I lost, to have, at the very least, put up a good fight.  In this fashion, gaming is more about the hunt than the result.  Winning the game is all well and nice, but the more cunning one is, the more fun gaming becomes.  If this depiction of millions of triangles can cause such a stir, why then are books not banned?  In my opinion, someone who has to visualize the grotesqueness is in much worse of a state than when the maimed bodies are already presented for you.  What about movies?  Should movies not undergo the same rigorous scrutiny?

I think this sums up my feelings on the subject fairly well.

Studies have shown that Video games cannot be linked to violence, and that keeping children from the human nature of violence and aggression will stump the evolutionary growth of our posterity.  Video games may give people a natural high, or temporarily upset people if they lose, but people get upset when they lose their house keys, that does not mean on Monday when they go to work that they are going to take it out on about a dozen coworkers in the form of a sawed-off shotgun.  What does the game industry have to prove to Joseph Liebermen and the countless other conservative, anti gaming lawmakers?  Is there some sort of middle ground where all can be at peace?  Honestly, I would say the chances are about the same as me developing an Italian accent, grabbing a plunger and strapping on those overalls.

That's how I ended my paper. Yes, with a Mario reference, the way all papers ought to end.

There are a great many papers I wrote that I wish I could go back and read. I'm really glad I was able to find these two to look back on and share some excerpts here. I hope you enjoyed it at least a little.