My Milk Manifesto

I love milk. There is perhaps no truer fact in all of the world than this. I drink it almost exclusively every day. I can drink a gallon in a day if I am thirsty enough and so inclined as to drink it. Milk is the first thing I drink every morning and the last thing I drink before bed. There is little comfort in any drink other than milk.


And, for me, there is only one kind of milk: whole. Whole milk is delicious. Drinking whole milk is like lapping at a pool of heavenly dessert in liquid form. I never tire of milk's opaque goodness. Though, in these desperate times, I've relented and bought other milks because they were on sale.

My love for milk is so true, I've decided to pen a poem in its honor:

Oh milk, your snowy gaze does catch my eye
You rest above where my eggs do lie
A Day apart, I fear, brings dismal days
An eternal milk pool for which I pray
Will keep my milk monster at bay

Milk, aside from being delicious on its own, is rather versatile to boot. When added to cereal, one can sometimes hear the cereal speak to you. Added to coffee it takes is from an awful abyss of blackness to a cool brown in addition to making the coffee taste better. Milk is vital in baking, and I pretty much substitute is for anything anytime a recipe calls for water. (Except in bread and recipes where it matters.) Meatballs have a creamy texture with milk instead of water. Hot cocoa without milk is a travesty and shouldn't even be considered cocoa when made with water.

You can even get milk from animals other than cattle:

Milk can be flavored with chocolate, strawberry, and maybe lots of other flavors. Maybe hazelnut, or chocolate hazelnut would be yummy. Maybe someone could make a berry milk, too.

Milk goes into ice cream (though cream is the majority), sherbet, and gelato. Milk helps create a milkshake by lending more than just its name.

Some people bathe with it, though I can't imagine wasting that much milk for non-drinking purposes.

Annie Leibovitz took a pretty famous photo of Whoopi Goldberg in a milk-filled tub for the cover of Rolling Stone.

If I could, I think I'd like to drink milk this way, can upon can into milk cans. Though, I think that is even too much milk for me, not that I wouldn't mind trying to drink it all. =)

There is much more to be said about my love of milk and other dairy products, but for now this is where I leave you.