Boobies

It's no secret that I like Scandinavia, so I often find myself reading about or looking at things that are somewhat Scandinavian. I've read a bit about Stieg Larsson's books and some of the controversy surrounding them—namely that his partner feels cheated by his estate for getting nothing. So she held the last book hostage. But now that they are turning the books, turned into Swedish movies, into American movies, there's more controvery. And it's Boobs. Breasts. Nipples. Tits. Whatever word you choose. I'll usually read comments on articles to see what people think, until I realize that humans are pretty stupid, and oftentimes I'll refute them to myself because, well, that's what I do, I guess. But I thought this might be a good topic to discuss and since it's just me here, I'll use the comments to foment a sort of pseudo-discussion. Oh yeah. But first, the picture in all it's tortured, nippled glory:

So there it is.

I've not actually read the books, nor do I know what they're about, so I won't go into that here, but the movie and books are pretty dark from what I understand. Very rated-R, which is something not many studios are willing to do: put $100 million into a rated-R movie. So this movie poster seems to fit my limited understanding of the movie and the books. But lets look at some comments, shall we?

Smoking hot? She’s flat as a board. They should have got someone with boobs.

Of course this comment shows up, I'm just surprised it wasn't first (it was second). The problem is she does have boobs. They're right there, under Daniel Craig's arm. Thankfully, several people responded with helpful comments like these:

She is supposed to be flat, it is in the book.

which makes it helpful for people like me who didn't read the book to know that the studio didn't insist on cartoonish or fake ones. I also learned that Rooney Mara's breasts are apparently much larger than those of the Swedish girl in the original movies.

This comment in particular caught my attention though.

I don’t have a problem with nudity. But I do have a problem with GRATUITOUS nudity, just I have a problem with gratuitous violence. Lisbeth Salander is fighting back from being a victim. To have her posed in such a vulnerable state (and yes, when you’re nude, you’re vulnerable, whether you’re “strong” or not) really negates the power that the Lisbeth character has earned. She is supposed to be the protector, not Blomquist. I doubt that Stieg Larsson would have approved this campaign.

I fail to understand how this is gratuitous nudity. Of course, gratuitous means something different to each individual person, but this is hardly X-rated.

But I think this person is wrong. She says being nude makes you vulnerable. This is true. And yes, Lisbeth (apparently) is fighting back. But this person is flat out wrong. This movie poster negates nothing. This movie poster does not make the character weak, nor does it portray her as such. Nothing about this poster takes away any of the power gained because, yes being nude or posing nude makes one vulnerable.. But only to the extent that they let it do so.

Instead of letting this act drain the character, Rooney Mara has embraced it and that takes a certain amount of strength, doesn't it? How many people would willingly put their half-naked bodies on display for millions of people to see and critique?

Even more importantly, I wonder how many women this picture could inspire to be happy with themselves. As some commenters pointed out, Rooney Mara has small breasts. So what? So do lots of ladies. You don't need to have giant silicone-enhanced breasts to display them. And our society would probably be better off if a  lot more people realized that.

I think this comment sums up, more or less, how I feel on the subject:

A lot of the comments here perfectly illustrate why most of the world regard American as a culturally bankrupt nation. It’s not scandalous or dirty or shocking, it’s just a topless woman. I swear, the moral majority has screwed this country up beyond repair.

Making Books For Dirty Looks

I made some books. It's fun.





Here are some small books. They are pretty good for notes or small sketches, so they're kind of ike a mini Moleskine. The one on the right I made for Krissy and gave to her yesterday.




This is the Guestbook I made for our wedding. It was the first book I made so parts of it bother me, but overall it came out well, and no one seemed to notice it was wonky, even the people who didn't know I made it. The endpaper is a cream color with blue bird feathers on it. The paper on the cover and the back is actually banana leaves laid flat and pasted together and backed with something like mull.  It doesn't fold well (especially against the grain) so I cut it to size and covered the whole book in book cloth underneath it.





A sampling of books made. The one underneath them all will likely turn into a scrapbook of sorts. It's covered in ivory book cloth with a blue fabric covering the remainder (as you can see). It's about 240 pages, so it's quite large compared to the others.




A view of the books from the side. Krissy likes this angle. You can see all the imperfections, but that's okay. If you want a perfect book, go to a book store and pay $1.95. Hand made has more character--and character comes at a price.



A text block in progress. The paper is from a thrift shoppe. It's old accounting ledger paper. I'm honestly not sure where this paper went or if it made it into a book or not.

The Tools

This is an awl. You poke holes into paper and binder's board with it. They are sharp and pointy.



This is thread. You might recognize it. This thread is coated in beeswax though and made of linen.



This is a bone folder. It make folding paper super easy. You can also score things with it too. Like free beer. Okay, maybe not. Maybe just paper and stuff.



This is binding tape. It's not really "tape" but it works in a similar fashion. Combined with the mull this holds the text block to the outer case (cover) and makes the book much sturdier. Otherwise you'd only have glue and paper holding it together.



PVA. This is the glue for making books. It dries fast and clear and holds extremely well. White glue or mod podge might work, but PVA is also acid-free which won't obliterate your book and turn your paper yellow over time.




I also made this sweet card (and ten others like it) from a linocut I made. It's basically a bird flying in the clouds over the ocean. One cloud looks like Italy. Or a dolphin. Another looks kinda like a shoe. One looks like a Salvador Dali-esque middle finger. I think he'd approve. What do you see?

Babies Are Probably A Nuisance

Awhile back, I read this book. A lot of people read it, actually. I'm not going to lie, most people read it because of its name. And I'm not going to lie, it drew me in, too.

But anybody can write a book with a clever name. And a great many people could write a great book with a clever name.

But for people to deny this book its accolades because of a minor gripe they have with it is absurdist thinking. The art in this book is beautiful. I'm not going to spoil it and post a bunch of pictures, so you get just the one (and that is a crop, too, that is a small part of a two-page spread. You should buy this book to see the rest. It may not be the best to read to your child, but you can always read it to your significant other if the night is going as planned. It should brighten things up a tad.

Or you could give it as a gift to a newly preggers person with a sense of humor. Despite what you may read, I don't think this is a book for hipsters; I think it's a book for everyone. Well, everyone who has had, or is having, kids.

If all else fails, you could listen to the one and only Samuel L. Jackson narrate it:

What's On Our Dresser?

Being in a small space that's already filled with someone else's stuff is, no doubt, a pain in the ass. Anytime we want to use something or get something, there is simply no room for it. And being creative people with a lot of time on our hands means that most of the time we are trying to do something. This, as you can imagine, gets very frustrating.

This is a snapshot of really one of the only places we have to store things or put things. Originally, this was covered in porcelain houses and other trinkets.

Here is an overview of what it looks like from further out. It was dark so I had to use the light. And yes, it's always there, stripbox and all. That's how we roll.



Here is a view a bit closer. The two pictures after this will highlight the awesomeness that is: our dresser. This changes from day to day as we use and move things, but this is more or less how it looks on a regular basis. It's much neater after we clean, since I usually organize the random pain-in-the-ass-to-organize things. The regular boring-as-all-hell cleaning is usually performed (flawlessly I might add) by my Krissy.



Below some things are highlighted. I'll go into them in a bit of detail afterwards:



Starting from the left, we have (in no order, really):

A bag of buttons that do not fit in the larger jar of buttons further to the left.
Some books
A scarf Krissy made
A baby that Krissy's grandma crocheted. Here is a better picture. This may or may not be the same, since all I can see is the hair and skin:



India Ink

A rather large stack of revolving books (more detail later)

Buttons and knick-knacks

Stamp pad

Wax seal presser thingy

Below is the same picture, with some other stuff highlighted, notably the books.



Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince
I Like You
How To Make Books
Heidi
The Wind In The Willows
The Cute Book
How To Crochet (I'm sure that's not what it's really called)
Sketchbook from The Sketchbook Project. (Total failure. lame)
The Little Prince (English)
The Little Prince (Italian)
The Little Prince (German)
Harry Potter And The Sorcerer's Stone
Stormy Night
The Bread Baker's Apprentice
Platon
Photographic Wisdom

There are more books to the left like:

Pipi Longstocking
Kat Kong
Handmade Marketplace
Swiss Family Robinson
Tales From Outer Suburbia
I Am America (And So Can You)
Disappearing Spoon

Next to those are some sweet records. I cannot read them from where I am sitting, but I believe there is some Belle and Sebastian, White Stripes, and Raconteurs, for starters.

Then there is Krissy's record player.

The lantern which sits atop it

And finally, my Alienbees Einstein 640 Strobe, and my stipbox which is connected to it.

Doughnuts: Perhaps The Most Delicious Food On Earth. Perhaps.

There is something uniquely magical about doughnuts. I don't get doughnuts often, since they're not exactly the healthiest thing for you, but any time I wander my way into a Dunkin' Donuts, I am drawn to Boston Creme.

I've long wanted to make my own, for many reasons, but mainly because doughnuts are absolutely friggin' delicious. Also, I think doughnuts runs in every New Englanders veins, much like that of maple syrup in that of those in Vermont. No wonder Bernie Sanders is so awesome.

For Christmas, I received Flour, which is the eponymous cookbook put out by the restaurant (Flour, obviously).




In the cookbook was a recipe for doughnuts. Aside from eclairs, this is the recipe I felt I needed to make as soon as possible. Unfortunately, I lacked a few important items. First, I had no round cutters, which is kind of important when you're making doughnuts which are, you know, round. And as for eclairs, I also did not have any kind of piping tools. Now, I have both, so I am certainly looking forward to making some eclairs, like, now.



Making doughnuts is surprisingly easy, though it does require a few things.

First, you are going to need ingredients, obviously. These are all standard baking stuffs, so I wouldn't worry too much. Flour, butter, milk, eggs, and the like. If you bake, you most certainly have what you need.

As far as tools, you'll need a way to roll out dough. Either a French rolling pin or a standard. I like the aesthetics of a french pin, but I make do with a regular old rolling pin.

You'll also be needing a way to cut the doughnuts. You can either use round cookie cutters, or a special doughnut cutter. Personally, I'm happy with my round cookie cutters. They come in various sizes from about 3/4 of an inch to three-and-a-half inches. I like that they are multipurpose, whereas doughnut cutters really only serve to, well, cut out doughnuts. The choice is yours.

Since doughnuts are fried (yes, there are also baked cake doughnuts, but those are different), you're going to need a way to fry them. You can either use a deep fryer, if you have one, or a heavy pot.

The benefits to a fryer, is temperature control. Since they have a temperature dial on them, you can maintain a regular temperature. But, the downside is that you may not be able to fit as many doughnuts in. I could fit only two at best in mine.

Heavy stock pots, like Le Creuset, Staub, or Lodge will also work fabulously. Obviously these are expensive, but they can be used for so many different things. Besides, they look good. Fryers aren't exact;y the most beautiful kitchen artifacts. This method, is a bit trickier, though since you have no temperature dials. You can use an oil/candy thermometer, or throw in a dash of flour into the oil. When it sizzles, your oil is ready.



The nice thing about making your own goodies is that you know what goes into them, and that you don't have to waste anything. The "holes" can become little munchkins or donettes. Even the scraps can be recycled into new dough for new doughnuts. There wasn't a single scrap of dough that went to waste. which was nice. I ended up with nine doughnuts, and countless doughnut holes, which are a good snack. The nice thing about the doughnut holes is that they tend to turn themselves over when the other half needs to be fried. Not many foods cook themselves. How awesome are doughnuts?



We made some doughnuts plain, some were coated with sugar, and some were coated with cinnamon sugar-- probably one of the tastiest combinations you can imagine.



The recipe takes about two days. The first day is just making the dough. This takes maybe ten to fifteen minutes. Wrapping up the dough to let it rest and retard overnight is all you have to do afterwards. The next day, you just take the dough out, cut out the doughnuts, and let it rest for a couple hours in a warm spot. Next, you get to frying, doing each side for two to three minutes. Doughnut holes may take a bit less time.



Recipe for Doughnuts, from Flour, very ever-so-slightly altered. (By the way, this cookbook is awesome, I can't recommend it enough)

Ingredients:
2 1/2 tsp active dry yeast (or 1 package)
2/3 cup milk, at room temperature. I used skim since it's all we had.
3 1/2 cups unbleached all-purpose flour. I like King Arthur Flour
1 1/3 cup sugar (1/3 for the recipe, 1 cup for the coating)
2 tsp kosher salt (If using table salt, use half this amount since it is finer.)
3 eggs (large)
7 tablespoons of butter, at room temperature, cut into eight or so pieces.
Canola Oil (for frying, you'll need enough to fill your pot/fryer with 3 inches of oil. Think half-gallon)

Directions:

- In a stand mixer (or a hand mixer), combine the milk and yeast, stirring briefly, letting it stand for a minute to dissolve.

- Add the flour, 1/3 cup sugar, salt, and eggs and mix on low speed for about a minute (or until the dough comes together).

- Continue mixing on low speed for another two to three minutes to develop the dough further, and begin adding the hunks of butter one or two at a time until the butter is fully incorporated, and the dough is soft and cohesive. This should take about five minutes or so.

- Remove the dough from the bowl (a spatula or dough scraper works well) and wrap tightly in plastic wrap and refrigerate for at least six hours, though overnight works well if you are doing this at night.

Day 2

- Lightly flour a baking sheet or two, and flour your work surface well. You don't want the dough sticking to your counter, right?

- Roll the dough out until it is 1/2 inch thick. This will be about a square foot, but if yours is more rectangular shaped than square, don't feel so bad.

- Using your doughnut cutters, cut out the doughnuts and place them on the baking sheet. Make sure the holes are close to the center. I don't think asymmetrical doughnuts qualify as modern art. Also, feel free to experiment with different sized cutters for smaller or larger doughnuts. When you run out of space to cut doughnuts, roll it back into a somewhat singular form and recut. You'll probably be able to get another doughnut or so out of the scraps. Or you could throw those scraps away, but think of the starving children when you do it, you bastard.

- Cover your doughnuts with plastic wrap (loosely, but so no air gets in) and place them in a warm area to rise for two to three hours. They should double in size and be slightly springy to the touch. Think poufy.

- After this agonizing wait, line a tray, baking sheet, or in my case a pizza pan with paper towels. Unless you like oily doughnuts, then by all means...

- Fill your fryer according to its directions, or a heavy saucepan to a depth of three inches and heat on medium-high heat. You want the oil at 350 degrees, so if you have a candy thermometer now is a good time to use it, just be careful. If you do not have a thermometer, toss a few flecks of flour into the oil. If it sizzles like a little boy doing a jig at a wedding, your oil is ready.

- Slowly place the doughnuts into the oil, one or two at a time. Fry each side for two to three minutes until brown (flipping carefully after the first side finishes).

- Don't dump anything into hot oil. You really don't want to burn yourself. You want to enjoy the doughnuts, right? Also, don't crowd the doughnuts, they won't fry as well, and we want these suckers perfect, don't we?

- Using a slotted spoon, or a wire mesh-like spoon thing, slowly extract the doughnuts from the oil and place them on the paper towels. I'd avoid using plastic utensils, since they could very possibly melt, and plastic doughnuts, while tantalizing, do not say "yummy" to me. I used metal tongs, since we don't have a slotted spoon or anything.

- While you wait for this magic to happen, fill a bowl with the one cup of sugar, or cinnamon sugar, or anything else you want to coat them with.

- Once cool enough to handle, toss the doughnuts in the sugar, cinnamon sugar, etc until coated to your liking. Some may like the completely embedded in sugar look, while other may prefer a light dusting, so coat to taste. I find that the munchkin doughnut holes are a good test for this.

- Set the coated doughnuts to cool on the paper towels for half an hour or so. You don't want to eat them when they are overly hot or when they are slightly doughy, so just be patient. Don't worry, it's worth it.

- If you are impatient, feel free to snack on some munchkins while you fry up the rest of the doughnuts. These seem to take less time to cool.

- Enjoy!


For the record, you want the oil at 350 Degrees Fahrenheit